However, the majority of my life I have dealt with a poor self image and feelings of inadequacy, which affects my self esteem and self confidence. Haven't we all felt these feelings at one time or another?
I have dealt with many harsh and difficult times in my life that have affected the way I see and feel about myself. These are some examples of times when I have felt the lowest of lows.
- Years of Mental and Verbal Abuse and manipulation from my husband of 20+ years.
- Finding out my husband had a lengthy affair with my best friend and many other indiscretions.
- Depression - Wanting to die.
- Getting divorced.
- Starting Over
- Losing close life-long friendships.
- Having my kids choose to live with their dad. Where there is no structure, no rules and too many freedoms.
- Having the people closest to me who are supposed to be there and support me during these difficult situations, choose to listen to the lies of a manipulative teenager who is trying to get their way, rather than the truth from me (the Mom of that teenager), to interfere and ambush me in such a way that relationships within a family have been destroyed.
- Seeing my kids make really bad choices and suffering the consequences.
- Moving to another State, leaving all thats familiar behind.
- Making new friends.
- Trying to find a job.
Deep inside I know this and I know all the things I need to do to help myself have a better self image and just plain feel better. But sometimes its much easier said than actually doing, especially when you already don't feel great. It's an awful vicious cycle. And Satan is very wise and knows just what to do to prevent me from doing these things.
But I do have a couple secret weapons that continue to help me fight this battle. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally. Who compliments me and tells me how great I am and how much he loves me many times every day. He treats me like I have never been treated before. He inspires me and he motivates me. He has been my little gift from God. He helps put the positive affirmations about myself into my mind so that gradually I am feeling more positive things than negative.
I also have my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ. It's through his love and sacrifice for me, that I know I will conquer my Goliath. All I have to do is ask, and he is there guiding me, loving me and helping me conquer this battle within myself.
What are your personal Goliath's? How have you conquered your battles? I would love to hear your perspectives and experiences if you care to share with me?